Up And Down In AKLEINCNEY's World

To much depend on him

Been lazy ass this few days.. even if there are lots of work to do. But I did it all anyway. May be this is one reason that I get tired easily, and sleep early every night. Even though I miss to talk to him. Oh last night we didn't talk because he need to go to work early as yesterday he not finish the work. But I also didn't see he online.

Come to think about my post since the beggining of the existing of this blog, I keep on writting about both of us. Well that is what happen to me in real life. I just notice that my life and routine is all about him. It make my life really not complete without him. May be I'm too clinging type.. To dependen on him.

But no one can tell whether what I'm doing now is worth it. Should I just focus 100% on him? Even if I can't tell or judge by the way he is right now. How I wish he also write blog or diary so that I can digg in to or snoop some where to find out what's he thinking. At least I'll know whether he like the way I treat him. What he dislike and what so ever. How he think of other people, How he plan for the future, What type of person he is, what he love most.

As I can't get any information to refer on, I just perceive on my on observation. We been together "knowing each other" for four years, I found out he is a very nice partner

But then he got this weird temper also. And he is very hardworking "working always" then keep in touch with me always... "I call him.. and he answer.. something like that". But what I don't know is his routine when he was not talking to me. Like who he meet, who is his gang or friends, he spend most of his time with who.. bla bla bla.. I want to know.. Not to control him.. but at least it will calm me down some how... I sound freaky now..=_=".

Until now I still don't know what exactly I want from him. All I know is that I feel good whenever we are together. Especially when we really are together.. physically.. touching.. seeing each other. Watch his eyes, his lips, his reaction. Gosh I don't know why I like him so much. Even when a lot of people still want me to consider deeper on whether to be with him. For me, he is great. And I love him.

But come to talk about My Soulmate. I can't 100% sure about our position now. As I know to some people, their soulmate might not always be their husband. It can be their chilhood friend, best friend, or whoever. Those who really understand them. Those who really care or know what exactly what each other thinking. I'm not sure whether this situation count.

I can't even try..or even think about going out with other people. And come to think about it. I also never think of kissing or imagine to have intimate imagination other than him *wink wink*

Some people that don't know me.. I mean my campus mate might think that I am a super woman, by analyzing the way I study and also my performance in Uni. My friend once ask me;

Howard: Alice.. What are you going to do after you graduate?
Me: I'm going to further my study.
Howard: Where?
Me: Will go to the State to take my MBA.
Howard: Wow... Then what you going to do after you finish your MBA???
****he get really curious about it****
Me: I don't know..
Howard: What is your ambition then ... you will you like to do in the future?
Me: Get married. take care of kids, become housewife.. and take good care of my husband... :p
Howard: Ngaiti... Don't tell me you study so far.. and come back just become ordinary housewife.
Me: hehe.. at least I'm becoming the educated housewife a...
Howard: Waste money.. waste your intelectual.. then why you need to be so genius in class..
Me: I feel good about it.

See.. If every one know what kind of person am I, they'll not think that I am as genius as I used to be.. Some of them might think that I'm a total waste. As there are so many people want to become me.. and now.. what I want to become is just a happy housewife, that take care of everything.. All about family. Because for me.. family is number one, as I'm been raise in the family oriented background, where we always kiss dad and mum, grandma, sister and brother. Sweet right ~ even though we are not calling each other by jie jie or didi and mei mei.. we are still the closest one.

Some of my friend even can't believe the way we treat each other. I mean when can you see sibling go out together ? All the practise today is that you will only go out with you friend.. and bla bla bla.. Fatma even told me once. She said me, Sherly and Lenny doesn't look like sister. We look more like best friend.. ahahah.. so that is what I'm talking about.

posted by akleincney @ 8:54 AM