Up And Down In AKLEINCNEY's World

Idiotic me

What am I crying for ? For the love that is not belong to me? Until when do I need to continue this idiotic move? Why it always me who will be hurt in the end? Its turn like I’m becoming the third party here. The one that going to ruin people’s love life.

God. I always ask you to answer me.. But I never receive any reply from you. I always ask you whether it worth it to wait.. Did you ever answering me? I ask him.. But is he telling me the truth?

How long can I live like this? If he prefer that girl over me. Don’t hold me back. I told you before. If you like other person let me know.. I’ll walk away from your life. I wait and wait and wait.. till I discover some bad thing again. This is not the first time it happen.

What is it that you really looking for? Why cant you just say you had enough. Enough with everything. You are too tired of working, study, assignment.. and there are no more room for me.

You said “ That is the important thing that you want to tell me?” Of course its important to me. I don’t know that its not important to you. But for me.. you are the most important thing.. important person in my life. I always put you the first. But I don’t think you will do the same for me.

What is it that I’m fighting for? I though that I love you very much.. and so does you. That is what I’m fighting for. But once your life have another room for other girl. Than.. its squeeze me to the bottom of the line. And there are other love the exist beneath your heart. Tell me.. is it worth it for me to fight for you again when you already know the answer for yourself?

I’m sorry that I cant really read your mind. I always ask you to give me “Guai guai.. hug hug.. kiss kiss and I love you” every time I end my call. Cos I really love to hear that. Even how angry or sad or bad thing happen. It will some how neutralize my feeling. At least it make me feel warm in my heart. To hear some one that I love most telling me that he love me.

But once I knew about the existing of another person in your life. Tell me.. what should I do? Can I just walk away.. pretend like nothing happen? Or will I have the gut to say “That’s the end of us. Don’t ever expect me to look for you anymore”

I know there are other thing that is more important than love live in this world. Its Family, Career, Money. But life really become so dull without love. I don’t have the gut to love others. I rather wait for you. But I don’t know when will the waiting going to end. Tell me.. do you still want me to wait? But what exactly that am I waiting for? When you can get what you want now without waiting.

I know I cant blame her. Its not a crime to love. But it’s a crime to love other people’s lover. But yet it not a crime again when the people’s lover love her back. Complicated.
What should I do? What should I do? I know this will happen again. I know ,… I just know. Even how you swear.. it just going to happen again.

posted by akleincney @ 4:56 PM