Up And Down In AKLEINCNEY's World

why I feel like I am not been appreciate? what wrong with calling to say you miss some one and then being scolded by saying "you again ?" shouldn't that person be happy to hear from his love one? but ironically, he get mad when he heard your voice.. seem like you are the last person that he hope to contact him.. and then after finish scolding, he expect you to apologized.. what kind of world is this ? must we have reason when we miss some body just to hear their voice? I wonder is it only him threat girls like that ? or there also other people ... when do the deep thinking, i felt like I'm unwanted. whats the point for sending sms and say you love this person forever when in real you doesn't feel that way ? I don't think he mean what the wrote in the sms.. why it change after been together for few years? last time used to be him are the one that got love sick and keep on sending me sms and try to contact me.. but why not anymore? is it he find others? is he too busy until he get mad all the time ? or is it I am the one that change? I don't felt so.. cos I been like this since the first time I met him. so who to blame? do i need to follow all his order? and keep up with his time? I don't have my personal time? I don't have work to do ? I don't have other stuff that I need to worry about? I do.. but I also can make free time when he contact me.. but why he cant? what will happen when I stop calling him ? will he jump like crazy and feel happy about it ? will he? or will he at least figure out some thing wrong and miss me? I wonder will he? god please make me brave, please make me strong.. I can do this.. I am strong.. I'm clever.. and I am the top student in the class.. I cant afford to lose this.. I cant become weak in relationship.. I have my own roles.. and i wont give up for some guy that are not guarantee to love me forever.. and I felt like the security feeling is gone.. no more happy stuff that we can do together.. when we talk, it seem like I am the one do the talking.. just like he cant wait to hang up the phone.. and he hesitate to answer my phone too.. then what is the point of becoming his special person when he threat you like that ?